Finally Flying

28 November 2019.

Two years, four months and four days since the last time I saw my grandparents.

The next time I write, I will be with them in another country.

Over the past couple of years, I have tried to see them multiple times. Somehow, the timing never worked out and always ended in disappointment. A new Covid-19 variant has emerged. New Zealand is shutting its borders. Even now, I am mindful of getting my hopes up in case anything happens.

As I prepare for my month-long trip, here are some of my thoughts and reflections.

I miss them but...

I have always been close with my grandparents on my mum's side. They practically raised me growing up because my parents were always working. When I was a newborn, my grandmother slept in a bed next to my cot, and she would tend to me whenever I woke up (or so I am told). Whenever we have family reunions, we always talk about how I made my grandfather quit smoking. As a baby, I was sensitive to smells, and I would cry whenever he held me. I don't want to take credit, but I am sure this decision added a couple of years to his life.

I remember the mundane things growing up, like getting picked up from school and walking home hand-in-hand with my grandparents. I always walked in between the two of them, and as they held my hand tightly, I would skip and jump. I don't know how they had the strength to hold my hand while I did all of that, but somehow they did. When I fell, they were always there to hold me up and wait for me to get up again.

It is not hard to see our love and affection for each other. It is not hard to imagine how crushed I would have been to move to Australia without them. There were lots of tears, and even now, sometimes I get a little choked up when I have to say bye to them. I try not to show it because I know it makes the goodbye harder for everyone. I miss them. I am excited to see them, but part of me is also dreading the goodbye at the end. The more attached I get, the more I love them, the harder it is to let go when the time comes to say goodbye.

They're getting older.

This reality has sunk in deeper each time I have visited them, especially as I have become more mature. It is a weird feeling seeing your grandparents age. In my memories, I remember them as big and strong. But the reality is different. Now my grandparents get tired after a steep walk. When we walk to the bus stop, my grandmother will huff and puff, needing to stop before continuing. It is hard for her to talk while we walk so I fill the silence with pointless chatter. My grandfather always zooms past us, but as soon as he reaches the bus stop, he sits down to rest and wipes the sweat from his brow with his handkerchief.

I know it is normal for your health and body to decline as you grow older, but part of me wishes time would stand still. It is wishful thinking on my part, and since it has been more than two years since I have seen them, I know there will be more changes that await me. Changes that remind me that each day is one step closer to death. There is nothing new about death. All of us will pass away eventually but it feels different when you watch the people you love inch closer to it.

Where are they heading?

As I sit here contemplating my grandparents' old age, I think about where they will go after death.

As a Christian, I believe everything God has written in His book, the Bible and what Jesus has said is true. It is why I know there are only two outcomes for where a person goes after dying. Everyone makes a choice in this life that determines whether they get to spend eternity with God or eternity without him. This choice is explained a bit more in John 3:16-18.

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷ For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. ¹⁸ Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.

The choice is a simple one, whether one should believe in Jesus. Those who believe in Jesus will have eternal life. Those who do not will be condemned for their sin.

If you read the story of the Bible from the beginning, you will know that sin is this huge problem that keeps messing up peoples' lives and their relationship with God. They keep disobeying God, not listening to what He says and doing the wrong thing. God becomes angry and almost gets rid of the people He has created, but He remembers His promise and keeps His word to them. The section above is part of the climax of this story. God knows the people will keep disobeying Him. He knows they will never be able to satisfy their side of the agreement, so He sends Jesus to fix the problem. God does so because He loves and cares about them. He does so because He wants them to live.

When I think about my grandparents, it worries me because I don't know where they stand on this choice. Even though I adore my grandfather, I know he doesn't think he needs God in his life. He thinks he is a pretty good guy. He cares about his family and values integrity and honour. Maybe if you put him on a scale with everyone else in the world, he would be above average, but that does not mean he is perfect. He is stubborn and speaks rashly when he is agitated or angry. He wouldn't meet the standard of goodness that God desires.

Regardless of what choice my grandparents make, I will love them. My love for them also means that I want to be sure they understand the choice they are making, and the consequences that flow from it. I love them enough to tell them what I believe and why I believe in Jesus. I love them enough to have these uncomfortable conversations and let them ask questions. I love them enough to pray for them and ask God to soften their hearts as He did mine.

What about you?

Where do you stand on this choice to believe in Jesus? While it may be more noticeable for my grandparents, each day also brings us closer to the reality of death. The choice they get to make about their eternity is also one that we get to make.

If you have chosen to believe, I rejoice because we share eternity with God! I'm sure there are people in your life who have not made this choice and I pray that you will be moved by love to share your faith and engage in conversations with them. Please also join me in praying for my grandparents to believe in Jesus so that they would share eternity with us.

If you haven't made a choice yet or have chosen not to believe, please reconsider. Just like my grandparents, I love you enough to tell you that this choice has serious ramifications on your eternity. I pray that you will not be indifferent, apathetic or blasé about it, but will think deeply about where you will be heading after death. May you accept the gift of life that Jesus has given to you.